Sorrows drowned in alcohol a haymitch fanfiction
by Writingfreesthesoul
Summary: What would happen if you had to fight to the death in a horrific tournament? Could you win? And even if you could, would you be able to live with yourself for the rest of your life? A life filled with revenge... But a girl will come to change it all, to make things better and make you believe again in a happy ending.


CHAPTER 1

It's Reaping day, but I'm not worried, after all, the odds have been in my favor every year since I turned twelve and was old enough to be chosen for the (Hunger) Games. The youngsters of district 12 gather round in front of the Justice Building in long queues waiting for their turn to be stung by a peacekeeper that takes a sample of our blood to confirm our identification. Only after that are we allowed to proceed to the place that is destined to us, the place from where we watch the ceremony. I'm 17 now and the sting doesn't even hurt anymore. And this is my last Reaping because next year I'll be too old, next year I'll be safe.

Effie Trinket, district 12 escort is up on the stage. She comes from the Capitol which you can see by the lack of resemblance with the citizens and, of course, the clothes, the outrageous, extravagant, stupid clothes with bright colors and expensive appliances. She stands between two glass bowls: the boy's and the girl's. But before she chooses the fate of two poor children, she offers a movie. It's always the same one, 'brought all the way from the Capitol'. Effie loves this part, she knows the words by heart.

As usual, ladies first! – she dips her hand deep into the midst of the girl's bowl and picks up a small paper, unfolds it and announces the name.

Maysilee Donner!

A girl barely my age standing by another just like her, cringes in fear but the peacekeepers come to take her and she holds her twin's hand one last time. When she's on stage, Effie dips her hand again. Of course, this reaping is different, it's the 50th Annual Hunger Games, the Second Quarter and to celebrate it the tributes number from each district will double: four instead of two. This means less chances of winning for whoever is chosen.

Serena Aster! Is the second name that comes out of the bowl. This girl looks so fragile that just the slightest breeze would break her into tiny pieces. She has whiter skin than normal (all people from the Seam and district 12 in general have very tanned skin) and curly black hair and when she hops to the stage her face does not let slip fear or sadness but rather a sense of curiosity.

And now, for the boys. – says Effie very excited. And she goes for the boys bowl, but its like I said, I'm not worried.

The first boy who is called is Zachary Black and he is just a scared infant, a lot like the girl, Serena, the only difference is that he's dying to find his mom and hug his family.

I start to wonder how much longer this will take, I feel like going for walk maybe steal a cake from the Mellark bakery… And then…

Haymitch Abbernathy!

Crap! I think to myself… Well I can forget about that cake.

I step onto the stage and join the other tributes . After that we are taken inside the Justice building and into separate rooms where we're supposed to wait for people to come say their goodbyes but I know no one will open the door. My mother died in childbirth and concerning my father, he left right about my 6th birthday and I never saw him again. Besides, he wouldn't recognize me today anyway. I can imagine the look of surprise in my face when who but my father should enter the small room. He's older, white strands of hair, long beard and worn out teeth but it's definitely him. I don't know what to say to him but I'm not alone, he's struggling with words too. I guess it's a family thing. Our three minutes are almost up so dad comes closer and hugs me. Good luck, he whispers, my son.

CHAPTER 2: The Capitol

The train to the capitol is astonishing in every possible way. The luxurious decoration, the characteristic colors of the big capital and most impressively loads and loads of food. I'm starving and since I'll probably be dead in a week's time I might as well enjoy it while I can.

At the Capitol we are sent to our preparation teams, a group of freaky strangers that push and pull my every hair and bath me with all kinds of perfumes and lotions and ointments until I'm as smelly as a girl. Then I'm off to meet my stylist. I learn that his name is Flax and he's even weirder than the prep team. His hair is of a bright red but his skin is greenish and he is wearing a pink suit that is a size too short. He approaches me, examines my face closely and goes away mumbling something like 'We can work with that.' He goes into a small room that looks like a cabinet and brings out a blue fancy suit that I'm supposed to wear to the interviews tomorrow.

Later, back in the penthouse suite, which is destined for district 12 always, I decide to get some much needed sleep. Tomorrow starts the training sessions.

After a big, tasty breakfast Maysilee, Serena, Zack and myself get down to the Training Room where I get, for the first time, examine and evaluate my competition. The career pack is together as usual by the knives station. A blonde, tall girl from District 1 calls my attention because she stands out of the career group due to her deadly look that screams vengeance and thirst for blood. I wonder if someone she knew has been in the Games. Clearly something happened in that girls past that left her this disturbed. Yes because most kids don't turn evil before at least half the Games has gone by. Besides the career tributes, which include tributes from 1,2,3 and 4, there are a lot of little, defenseless kids this year.

When Atala finishes telling about the importance of clean water since most tributes die from dehydration and infection, tributes are free to choose which stations they want to work on. I'm pretty good with knives and I can easily take someone in a man to man combat, once I even fought a bear in the woods near the Seam! So I decide to try the camouflage post however that didn't work out so well. Turns out I wasn't cut out for painting, I'll just have to go by without disguising just plain old me, waiting for the blades to come… After trying swords and climbing and bow and arrow I settled for plants. I stayed in that station for hours and the two others days of training as well learning about poisonous and healing species.

Tomorrow are our individual sessions with the Gamemakers after which the tributes are awarded a score from 1 to 12 according to their overall performance from the three days of evaluation. Also, late at night there will be held the interviews with "the one and only Ceeeessssaaaarrrr Flickkerman!" the blue haired host of the Annual Hunger Games of Panem that always knows what to say in order to please the crowd.

For my individual session I thought, since I had no particular talent, I would show a little of everything I had learned including not tying, trap building, knives, of course. None of them seemed very interested, none paid any attention. I turned my back when I finished and walked away.

CHAPTER 3: Interviews

Flax was waiting for me at the penthouse. After I put on my suit and ceremony matching shoes he sends me to my prep team so they can "fix my face, turn it into something presentable".

There are 48 tributes this year and since I'm from district twelve I have to wait forever for my turn. Meanwhile, I take advantage of the situation and take a chance to spy on the other tribute's interviews. Nothing interesting really, just the same old rehearsed bullshit that makes the sponsors like you.

The girl from 1, Juniper is her name, tries to show off as a strong, convicted girl. On the other hand, the young girl from 2, Milly, wants to play the innocence trick which, in her case, might actually work due to her straight blonde hair, innocent blue eyes, light skin and narrow body structure, very fragile. Although I have my doubts about her, she's a career and they're fearless and cut trough.

When Serena sits down with Ceaser, she still shows the same curiosity I saw at the Reaping. Is she not scared? I guess not. She just answers Ceaser's questions with great enthusiasm and when she's asked if she's ready for the Games, she answers:

I love a new adventure! – and she offers the crowd a big, toothless smile.

Next on stage is Maysilee. She's wearing a beautiful, long white dress that suits her perfectly. Her long blonde hair is up in a ponytail and she looks dazzling.

Maysilee, you look stupendous – complemented Ceaser – Thank you, she replied. I hear you have a twin sister, are you really identical?

Yes.

How marvelous! So if you wanted you could just have switched between you and no one would know…

Maysilee hesitated before answering. Then she giggled and said:

I suppose we could… But I wouldn't let her come, She's my sister I have to protect her. She's family.

And what do you think will happen if you don't get back, because people say the connection between twins is very strong?

I'm sure she'd be very sad but she'll survive. – she smiled.

Very good. Then make sure you get back to her – Ceaser said compassionately.

I will she says reassuringly.

Ladies and gentleman, Maysilee Donner, district 12.

She comes back to backstage an it's my turn to be interviewed, so I step forward and Ceaser introduces me to all of Panem watching and we sit down.

So, Haymitch, what do you think of the games having 100% more competitors than usual?

I don't see that it will make much difference, they'll still be 100% as stupid as usual. – I confessed. The audience laughed as if I had cracked the funniest joke of all times. Stupid capitol people, they're so ignorant, so …so…I don't think there's even a word to describe their stupidity and lack of judgment. – So I figure my odds will be just the same.

So funny! Almost as funny as me! Ahahahahahah - the audience laughed again. – (…more interview…)

Well, our time is up. Good luck Haymitch!

Thanks.

After the interviews are done there's a big party at the main square in front of the Training Center. From the balcony, where I am, I can hear capitol citizens shouting and enjoying their long lives.

Can't sleep either? – says a voice behind me. It's Maysilee.

No, I guess not. – I shrug my shoulders.

She approached me and leaned with me.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live like them? – she asked pointing downwards.

Yes. And no. I envy their freedom and lack of worry and the fact that they don't have to struggle, but would never become them. They're….

Stupid? – she smiled.

I smiled back.

Yes.

We stayed for a while watching the celebrations. After that I got bored and went back inside to my room. Tomorrow morning we leave for the Games and I might not get another good night sleep in a comfy bed so I don't even bother to undress I just digged under the sheets and travelled to sweet land of dreams.

CHAPTER 4:the Games

In the morning, after a last great breakfast, all the tributes are gathered in a ship that is taking us to the arena. I wonder what it'll look like…

On the way there, a capitol lady, a peacekeeper I suspect, inserts a tracker in our forearm with a special kind of gun like a syringe. The younger tributes flinch and mourn because it hurts and some even cry a little, like Zack.

When we land I'm taken underground to a room where Flax gives me my black jumper and I go into a kind of glassy tube which will take me up to the arena. The countdown starts. The ground under my feet elevates and I'm out in the open again along with the other tributes but I can't leave the pedestal yet or the gamemakers will blow up the mines around my platform. I can't leave until the clock on the cornucopia stricks zero. While I wait I try to decide what to do. This year's arena is the most breathtaking place imaginable. The cornucopia sits in the middle of a sweet-smelling green meadow that stretches for miles and, far in the distance, there are woods on one side and a snowcapped mountain on the other. I decide I'll make a run for the woods through the middle of the meadow going through the cornucopia and I'll grab a backpack on the way.

3…2….1….0.

The clock strikes zero and I run as fast as I can to avoid the bloodbath.

CHAPTER 5: the woods

When I get deep enough into the woods, I sat on a big rock and pulled out the content of my backpack to examine it. I got a pocket knife, a blanket, a can of water and some sort of purifier that I guess is for rain water, some rope and a knurled knife. It's not bad, I can work with this.

I take a look around. Everything looks so perfect and tempting. Every berry, every flower, everything. But I'm not stupid, I know them and I know they don't give anything to anyone. I bet these are all poisonous. That makes sense, why else would they give the purifier, I bet the water is poisonous too.

I hear a noise behind me and turn around grabbing the knife firmly. A few miles from me there's a boy I think he's from 7 and he is leaning onto a small water bed. He picks up a water container like my own and fills it. Afterwards, he leans a little more to drink some but as soon as his lips touch the water, he paralyzes and his inert body falls to the ground lifeless. And then there's a canon sound.

Like I thought, it's poisonous so how will I get food? Then I realized, I have to go back to the cornucopia. It also means that it will take half the time for most of the tributes to die. If I go back now I might be able to sneak out with some food without being seen.

When I'm close, I stop to observe the status. The only tributes near the cornucopia are at least 50 feet away. Most of the stuff is gone but there's still some knapsacks on a table that have a food insignia on them so I run there and take two. Then, I run away again.

CHAPTER 6: Competition

During the following days I kept on walking in the direction of the big mountain sleeping on the top of trees and eating the food I had taken from the Corncopia. I managed to keep out of trouble by not running into any other tribute but by the time the tributes were reduced to half of the usual number of competitors I had an unpleasant meeting.

When the sun rises I am almost at the bottom of the mountain but I have this strange sensation like a chill that goes through my spine but doesn't leave. Suddenly, three shirtless male tributes come from the nearest cluster of trees with big swords and one of them had half of a tree trunk. All had angry expressions and they all came at me at once. I get out my knife and dodge the first blow from the guy with the trunk at the same time I stab him in his stomach. The other two come towards me but I knock them over with a couple of well delivered punches and turn to the first attacker who is going to fight back and whom I cut the neck. He falls to the floor. One down, two to go. The blond one is back on his feet and I punch him in the face and kick his abdomen but he pushes me and I'm on the floor. He's on top of me trying to choke me and I put my hands on his face to keep him away. We roll over trying to keep one away from each other. He has his hands on my face so I bite his fingers and he screams in pain. I cease the opportunity to grab my knife that had fallen a few inches away but my opponent also takes the chance to regain the advantage and takes my hands with the knife and turns hit towards my throat while I struggle on the opposite direction but the knife is almost cutting my skin I can feel the blade already. In spite of his advantageous position, I'm stronger and able to overpower him. I roll so I'm on top of him again and sever his throat twice. I barely have time to get up before the last guy comes running in my direction and hits my face with the trunk. Oh, the pain! I think my nose is broken. I fall to the ground and he grab my hair pulling me up and is ready to kill me when he simply falls down dead. There's a dart on his back and I lock around to see where it came from when I see Maysilee. She blew the dart that saved me. She comes out from behind a tree and says:

We'd live longer with two of us…

I guess you just proved that.

She puts her weapon in tow and I pick up my backpack. I check my bleeding nose. It's definitely broken. I look back at her.

Allies?

She nods.

CHAPTER 7: Allies

She and I went on through the forest, I was leading the way.

I turn to her:

How did you do that? How did you kill him? – I asked curiously.

The food, it's poisonous.

Yes I know. Half the tributes are dead because they didn't realize it.

I just smashed some red berries and stuck them in the dart – she showed me some of the berries she used.

I smiled - Clever. – She smiled too.

Thank you.

After walking a few miles we came across a river. By this time our water supplies were almost gone and the sun was burning so we craved for water. Maysilee kneeled to drink.

No! You can't. – I yelled as I ran to her. I knew she knew it would kill her but she was so thirsty and tired, she wanted to give up but I wasn't gonna let that happen.

She started crying. – I'm sorry Haymitch.

Maybe we should spend the night around here. – I said.

Ok.

We set camp about twenty minutes walk away from the river. I took out an apple from my food backpack and started to cut it with the help of my knife. Maysilee looked at me. I cut a piece and gave it to her.

Maysilee knew about plants and she helped fix my nose by attaching some leaves to my face during the night. By morning my nose is much better and most of the pain is gone.

When we restart walking our pace is a lot slower due to the lack of water we have but, fortunately is starts raining. We look at each other.

Is it safe? she asks.

I think so…They had to give another water source otherwise the have no interest because everyone dies of dehydration, but I'll go first, just in case.

She hesitates but agrees. I use a bush with big leaves to drink the rain water. It tastes fine but I keep waiting for excruciating pain, but it doesn't come. Finally, I give Maysilee the green light. She drinks abundantly and I refill our container in case it doesn't rain so soon.

We keep on moving, by now we're long past the mountain, we are walking up the hill. There is no woods here, no more bug trees just small plants and little colorful flowers. It's almost night and we decide to stay the night. Maysilee looks tired so I offer to stay on guard first. I sit by a fallen trunk and she lies beside me. She's shaking, I believe she's cold so I take my blanket out and cover her.

I realize that Maysilee is just another unfortunate soul that has been pulled into this pathetic game. My rage isn't against her; it is against the capitol for turning me into something I don't want to be. She's just an innocent girl that got up in a plot that is not her fault. I've been acting like a jerk keeping Maysilee away from me when I should be glad after all if it wasn't for her I wouldn't even be here, I'd be dead. She saved me and I never thanked her…

I pull the hair away from her face and kiss her on the cheek. I think I like Maysilee she's so pure and honest, if only everyone else was like her… From now on I'm chasing my attitude.

It's morning and once again we set path but early in our outing Maysilee stops. I turn and tell her: We have to keep moving, but not in a harsh way like I used to talk to her, more in a soft tone of voice like a request. – We can't stop.

Why? – she asks.

She doesn't understand. I turn away.

I'm not going any further without an answer…

I turn back and walk towards her.

Because this has to end somewhere, right? The arena can't go on forever…

When I start walking again she asks: What do you expect to find?

I don't know – I shrug – maybe something we can use. – I don't expect her to understand but I really hope she doesn't think I'm crazy and leave because I don't think I could bear that. I've grown so accustomed to her presence, her smell, her light steps behind mine, her company…

But whatever she is thinking of me now, she is following me. Thank god she is.

You must think I'm crazy…

I don't. Why would I think that. – She looks at me and I look at her. – I reckon you're just scared like the rest of us.

I look at her surprised and a bit wroth. She stops in front of me and caresses my face.

It's ok to be scared Haymitch. You are not alone. - She says as she hugs me. – Come on. Let's go.

She really is amazing – I think to myself.

CHAPTER 8: The cliff

After another couple of days we are close to a big cliff and I think this might be it, the end of the arena. I run to the end of the big rock where I'm standing and look down but there's nothing there just an eternal fall. When Maysilee gets to where I am she takes a peek too.

That's all there is Haymitch. Let's go back now. – she says

No. – I say shaking my head – I'm staying here.

Alright – she replies in a sad voice – There are only five of us. Might as well say goodbye now. Don't want it to come down to the two of us… - she kissed my cheek before she goes.

Ok - I say but my voice is barely audible. It finally happened. She left. But she's right, one of us has to die so the other can go home and I'm sure if it came down to the two of us I wouldn't be able to kill her. Anyone else, yes, her never… And she's gone.

I kick some pebbles on the floor over the cliff. When I turn around there's a buzzing noise and the little stones come back up and land in front of my feet. I grab a bigger rock and throw it and it comes back to my hand.

Awesome! - I laugh.

Someone screams. It's a girl.

Maysilee!

I run through the grass shouting Maysilee's name.

Maysilee! Maysilee!

Haymitch… - said a really tiny, choking voice.

Maysilee…

When I finally find her she is lying on the floor and there's blood everywhere. I look around trying to find the responsible but the only thing I see are candy-floss pink birds with big skewer-like beaks going away, they're mutts for sure, and they did this. I look at Maysilee again, her throat has been skewed deeply and the blood keeps coming no matter my attempts to stop it. Her hand reaches for mine with all the strength she has left and I hold it tight.

Haymitch…

No, look at me – I beg her – Breathe. I'm not gonna let you die. – she starts fading away. But there's nothing I can do. There's no way to treat her here, in the Capitol maybe but not here and they don't see what I see, that she's pure and they won't heal her and all I have is this last moments with her before she's taken away forever. I think I'm crying.

Please stay with me – I beg her –Stay with me!

But my will is not enough to make her stay, there's a louder voice calling the other way.

Hay…mitch… - she whispers with her last breath and her hand no longer holds mine.

No, don't go! I need you! I…love … you… - I cry.

I'm left with just my name in her lips and a feeling of emptiness inside. I close her eyes and kiss her forehead and I try to say goodbye. Then I get up and leave her body for being taken but one thing I can promise. I will win these games, for you Maysilee. I will revenge you and win, for you!

CHAPTER 9: Victory

After Maysilee's death I just know I have to win. She would be the only one who would be worth winning but if she can't I won't let anyone else take that prize. I wait for the night because by now I've lost track of how many tributes are still alive. I reckon there are only four of us left so I decide I'm not running and hiding anymore and I set path to find the other tributes.

Just before nightfall I ran into the remaining tribute from four who had a trident in a hand and a fierce expression but before he could attack me a group of mutts that looked like squirrels, harmless fluffy squirrels but they torn him to pieces in a matter of seconds. I simply waited for them to go back to their trees and went around through another path in the forest to continue my search for the rest of the tributes. If my estimate is correct there are only two tributes left the girl from one and the boy from eleven.

When I get to the area around the cornucopia, see the girl from one. She's covered in blood but its not her own and the strong, maculated boy with dark skin from my neighbor district is on the floor, dead. She must know I'm the only one left and when she spots me she doesn't hesitate before coming after me even though I'm bigger than her and clearly stronger.

I evade her first attack by … and I unsuccessfully tried to stab her chest. The next couple of strikes by the both of us were missed but I get a shot at her throat and it's so close I can hear her hair being cut by my knife. She takes advantage of my proximity and kicks my stomach throwing off my balance. She comes at me once again but I am prepared and we push and pull each other. Seeing as I'm stronger, and even though my hands were occupied keeping her away, I used my head to head her and I think I might have broke her nose. At least I make her bleed and she moves away to check her injury. After that she's furious which just makes her reckless and she tries to hit me with her axe but she fails by far. When she stops to regain her breath, she has her back turned on me and I cut her back horizontally. She screams loudly. I punch her and go for another strike with the knife but she catches my arm and, as I'm unable to block her attack, she uses the axe to hit my abdomen. She roles over my back and prepares to hit again but I get up and, conscious of my severe wound, I realize there is only one way to win this so I start running towards the cliff. She is right behind me and my strength is fading due to my blood loss. She probably thinks it is an easy win but that's only because she's unaware of my secret weapon. I have damaged her left eye so her aim is not very good but she takes her final strike by throwing the axe at me and it goes over my right shoulder down the cliff. She looks at me, she can't believe she missed but she isn't worried because she is certain she can take me in a face to face fight. What she doesn't know and I do is that the force field at the end of the cliff will make the axe come back, and it does and I just get down and let it go right back to where it came from, catching her by surprise as her eyes show, hitting her head and killing her.

The cannon blows. It's official; I'm the winner of the 74th Annual Hunger Games.

CHAPTER 10: Going home

When I'm back at the Capitol, and after the technicians have cleaned all my scars and injuries (well, not all scars they left a few for the public to see me as a survivor, for the marketing, and a couple more that were too big and deep to erase), I have a walk around the main square and all the citizens want to touch me and congratulate me but I'm not there, my mind is somewhere else. Later, when the moon is up in the sky, I get on stage with Ceaser Flickerman once again. The loving audience and smiling presenter are really just an illusion for the cameras. I know the Capitol are mad at me because of my little trick with the force field, I'm not stupid. And I'm sure president Snow is planning his next move to punish me.

Ceaser asks how it feels to win, to feel your efforts rewarded; he asks about plans for the future, about what I intend to do with my new earned fortune and a bunch of other uninteresting questions to which I answer with caution, emotionless, basically I answer what I know everyone wants to hear. After I head to my room, tired, wishing only for the comfort of the warm sheets and the dreams that will certainly include Maysilee's face and memory; in my dreams she's still alive, she's still with me… And in this troubled state of mind I sink my pain in the pillows…

I open my eyes and I'm in my backward, in district twelve. I get up and start walking, I don't exactly know where I'm going but my feet seem to know so I let them guide me around my home district. During this trip, I see my classmates at school, and my father waiting for me to get home with a warm dinner on the table and… my… my mother and a baby that looks a little like me. Could he be my brother? Is my family back together? Then, Maysilee appears, she's smiling like she always is an she takes my hand and takes us for a further walk. Because there are no peacekeepers or electricity at the fence, we cross it and go deep into the forest and she leads me to a small lake surrounded by trees where we spend the afternoon chating and having fun. I lay on her lap and she undoes my hair and the hours go by in a heartbeat. When it's time to leave, we both get up, but the pink mutts appear and take Maysilee. I try to shove them away but nothing works and she's dead and the animals run away like nothing happened.

I wake up screaming, still in my bed in the training centre, all covered in sweat so I decide to take a shower to help me clean my mind. I've heard rumors from other victors about the nightmares but this…

Nevertheless, there is something positive about today: I'm finally going home. The peacekeepers come to escort me to the train. At the station capitol citizens gather to say goodbye to me and I managed to fake a couple of smiles and waved back at them, not that it matters, I mean, I can fool the pitiful common capitol people but I am very lucky to be alive right now because the game makers and especially President Snow are really not happy with me. I think I would be dead if I weren't the victor (well of course I would because I would have died in the arena but that's not the point). No one can pull something like that against the capitol and come out unharmed. No one. So why haven't they done anything?


End file.
